Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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