My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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