the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
