is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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