He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
