peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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