Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize