I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
