Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
