Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
In America we eat man semen.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
