the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Randomize
