we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
