sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
