I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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