seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
