Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
