Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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