4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
