If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize