Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
