I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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