Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
