Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Are my feet made of real feet?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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