I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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