i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize