he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
