I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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