Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
