do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize