i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
