he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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