Quick, to the slutcave!
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
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