Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
