Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
