This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
