I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
