office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
