I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize