I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize