I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
