It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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