Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
