The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
