I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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