apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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