you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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