You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
