The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
