3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
