Pants 0. Shit 1.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
