I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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