I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
