you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
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