I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize