he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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