After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
