omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Even my vagina gasped.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Damn victory sex feels great
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