Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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