the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
