if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize